Stop Self-Sabotaging Now

What if I told you that the only difference between you and that person who has everything you want in life is the difference in your happiness thresholds? If you don’t know what your happiness threshold is, I’m about to explain. Grab a cup of hones-tea and read on.

Our happiness threshold is the amount of happiness we’re willing to accept for ourselves before we start to screw it up. It’s the ceiling of joy we subconsciously place on ourselves in accordance with the way we view ourselves. If you reflect back on the times you were on the brink of embarking on something truly stupendous and for one reason or another (outside of yourself of course), things just did not work out AND it’s happened more than just a few times – you may just be self-sabotaging yourself.

If you are still unsure of whether this is you or not, take a few minutes to think about instances where you were really, really upset about something not working out and until this day you still can’t pinpoint the positive reason in your ‘everything happens for a reason’ story. Did you get sick on the the day of an important interview? Did you suddenly change your mind about what you wanted to study the day before your first day of college? Did you get the dates of an important audition completely wrong (and you swear it said a different date online when you checked)? Well you may just be the problem you’ve been trying to identify for years.

Of course sometimes things really do happen that mess things up that are out of our control and I do believe life happens for us not to us HOWEVER, I also believe we are the masters of our destinies and you may be sinking your ship instead of sailing it.

The bad news is you’re the only one standing in the way of you and the greatness you’ve always wanted to achieve. The good news is you’re the only one standing in the way of you and the greatness you’ve always wanted to achieve.

And you can change it.

People who achieve magnificent success may have a number of factors working for them and of course timing is a major aspect. Successful people aren’t afraid to risk it for the biscuit in order to get what they truly feel they deserve – in other words, their happiness thresholds are very high.

In order to rewire your brain to bring about real change, there are four things about the brain that you must know (courtesy of Marisa Peer – if you haven’t checked her videos out on YouTube, you’re missing out on learning some insanely simple and life-changing tools in life). The mind:

  • Always does what it really thinks you want it to do
  • Tries to move you away from pain and towards pleasure
  • Responds to the pictures and words in your head
  • Likes to stay in the realm of what is familiar

In other words, if you are dreading doing something and say things such as, ‘I wish I didn’t have to go to the conference next week’, your brain will find creative ways of making sure you don’t go to the conference. Your brain does not care about making you happy, it only cares about your survival in other words it will do whatever it can to make sure you just make it through. If you associate a high degree of pain with starting something new and a fair degree of pleasure with postponing things, your brain will find ways of stuffing things up right before you’re about to begin something new and potentially amazing. If you continuously think lowly of yourself and tell yourself that you are not good enough and therefore undeserving of any heightened success – your brain will get on board.

So what can you do about all of this? If you want to start seeing your life propel to unchartered levels of success and fulfilment; stop being your own worst critic and start being your own best friend. Here’s a simple 3 step strategy for you so that you can get on board with your mind and realise your immense potential:

  1. Repeat abundance mantras everyday. Every morning when you shower why not tell yourself kind and empowering things like, ‘Success and abundance surrounds me. I am a conduit for growth and greatness.’ Does it feel silly? Good! You have decades worth of self abuse to erase. Also, it gets better and easier I promise (can you tell Miss Trunchbull was my hero?)
  2. Be mentally prepared for self-sabotage before embarking on something scary. Write down a list of all of the sabotaging moves you’ve pulled in the past and keep it as a reference so when you start ‘feeling ill’ before an important speech; you know that it’s just your subconscious mind coming in to command you to mediocrity like you’ve trained it to (but that’s okay – it’s changing now).
  3. Start doing daily brain dumps of all the madness in your head. Sometimes we feel heavy because there is too much going on in our minds to actually live our lives in peace so get out a pen and paper and spew out all of your thoughts. The benefits here are twofold; firstly you will feel so much lighter afterwards and therefore you will be able to direct your energy and efforts to actually putting in the work to craft your destiny as you would like it to be. Secondly, you will be able to observe your own destructive thinking and start anticipating self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviour before it even happens so you can stop the disempowering thought process in its tracks. What a win!

If you implement these three simple things into your life you will observe the inexplicable magic that unfolds when you start working with you instead of against you. Go on and kick some ass!