The Roles We Play and Why They’re Not Working For Us
Our purpose on earth is to reach a higher level of consciousness, to raise the vibration of humanity and the planet so as to leave the world in a better place than we found it. Our egos, characterised as they are, are our biggest impediments to fulfilling this purpose. The ego mind distorts, generalises and deletes aspects of reality to reinforce pre-established beliefs we have about ourselves, others and the world. These distortions emerge from underlying feelings of superiority and inferiority. Most people perceive having an ego as an inflated perception of self but really, having a poor self-image is also egotistic. As Eckart Tolle describes in a New Earth – feeling inferior disguises a hidden desire to be superior and feeling superior disguises a hidden fear that one is inferior. Our tendency to feel inferior or superior is inflated by the structure of roles in society.
What is a role?
A role is a complete identification with a function. Our functions define what do in this world. When we completely identify with these functions, we become consumed by these roles and the mindset that arises from assuming a role is what becomes problematic. Recognise this in the mother who does not allow her child to develop into an independent adult man as she coddles her son far beyond an appropriate age of doing so. Recognise this in the school teacher that speaks to every person as though they are in kindergarten which patronises and ostracises her friends and family. Recognise this in the doctor that treats everyone as a patient but never acknowledges the human behind the patient which prevents them from forming deep and meaningful connections. These instances all represent people who have identified so strongly with their roles that they have forgotten how to relate to others as human beings first and foremost.
How did we get here and what is the problem exactly?
Unfortunately, as humans we assign value to people based on their functions. When we meet people at a social gathering, we are quick to question what they do for a living in order to determine what they can do for us. When we know someone else’s function is, we assess how to treat them based on what utility we see for their role in our lives. As ego-based humans we also are so accustomed to comparison. The ego is a glorified measuring stick – we have a strong inclination to assessing where we stack up against others. The reality is that our functions are a futile basis for comparison as they say little to nothing about the person that we are. In addition, comparison itself is a bootless activity because we are no better and no less than any of our counter human beings. We are all immaculate in conception, equal in potential; recognising this immense potential in each of us is the route to building a positive self-image and eliminating feelings of superiority and inferiority. This is critical.
Another issue with assuming a role is that we often try to intervene in someone else’s evolution from the perspective of our roles. Someone in a position of authority may want to guide someone away from making mistakes. The issue here is that substantial growth comes from making mistakes and some of the best innovations in the world were discovered in this way. In addition, we try to change others by criticising people from the jurisdiction of our roles.
The best way to bring about change in another is not from the position of our overly imbibed functions, that is: not as a mother, not as a father, not as a friend, not as a girlfriend, not as boss and not as any other function. The most powerful way to bring about change in another is to completely accept him or her as they are and then to change the stories that we tell ourselves about the people we would like to change. All of our subconscious minds are connected on the level of quanta. If you want to change someone, change the way that you portray someone in your mind and watch them change before your eyes. It may not be drastic or immediate but elevating the image to which we hold people will contribute to their positive evolution. See this for yourself by putting two identical plants with very similar environments in different spaces. For 30 days, to the one plant say beautiful and inspiring words and to the other plant say hateful and antagonistic words and watch how differently they grow – based purely on the energy that you channel towards them.
If I am not what I do then who am I?
You are not your mind or your body. You are your spirit. Perfect and whole. However, your spirit is here having this human experience thus you are of body and mind and you are here for a reason. It is not about where you’re going but about who you become on your journey to getting there. Be present. Put love into all that you do. To be still and in the ‘now’ is the most effective way to connect with Natural Intelligence, God, Source Energy or whatever title you would like to assign to the creative energy that brings us all to this planet at this point in time. Further more, more wholly committing to the activity at hand makes one much more effective in their work and here are many real-world benefits to excelling in one’s function such as better remuneration and an enhanced feeling of accomplishment. Flourishing in one’s function need not result in identification with one’s function. The only real identification we have is as an individualisation of life. You are not your role. You are life itself.
Let your character be the demonstration of your soul and time and time again, relinquish your role.